We are conditioned as youth to expect forward, upward linear progress in life. When we are young our parents chart our growth on the door jamb with pencil marks chronicling our progression. We go through school passing through one grade and then onto the next in a steady forward progression (for most). This continues through college and likely our first one or two (or more) jobs. But for many of us, somewhere along the way, we get derailed. It can be absolutely debilitating.
Given that most of our life has been characterized by upward, forward movement we are dazed and confused at our newly derailed circumstance. Worse yet – we have no idea what to do about it. And why should we know how to handle it? We have seldom dealt with this feeling and have few known resources to support us. It is one thing to have a good friend or two you can visit with about your circumstance. Yet while any one of these people will offer support and often good advice, it will still be up to you to figure it out.
So how do you put it all back together and begin to move forward again? While there is no tried and true formula (everyone is different!) there are some basic components that will get you started.
- Take inventory. Start with your accomplishments, strengths, skills and abilities.
- Determine who you want to be. Oh…the tough one! Take away the “should’s”, “could’s” and “ought to’s” and see what remains. What is true for you?
- Chart the path. Now that you know what is true for you how do you become this person?
If you have been off-track before, you will know and understand better how to proceed. That doesn’t make it feel any better but you have the knowledge of knowing you will get through this. If it is your first big derailment, reach out. Find a mentor, coach or similar guide to help dust you off and get back on track or perhaps on a newly charted path!