So often in my work as a coach, I hear “what will people think” as an excuse for a client not doing what they truly want to do. It is not usually iterated that clearly at first; it takes the form of a different excuse. Yet, with a little probing, what I find is a fear of what others will think of them.
We have all felt this fear at some point in our lives; at times more acutely than others. Remember those teenage years? For the majority of us, we just wanted to fit in, to feel accepted by the group. A few of us welcomed the opportunity to openly express our differences, usually through choices about our physical appearance, the music we listened to or the groups we chose to hang with. At that raw stage in our lives we were trying to figure out who we were and what we were meant to contribute to this world.
Now that we are older and wiser, established in our careers and family, you would think that fear around how others perceive us, would have dissipated. Not so, and it is the reason that so many of us never take action to do something truly meaningful to us.
What will others think if I relocate my family across country to a more rural location? What will others think if I turn down the management position offered? What will others think if I leave my well-established corporate career to start a business I have always dreamed of? Whether you admit it or not, what you call the “voice of reason” may very well be the voices of others echoing from long ago or imagined by your over-protective brain in its attempts to safeguard you.
One of the instructors in my coach training program said it best “What others think of you is none of your business!” Challenge your excuse of inaction with this statement and see if you don’t gain some clarity around your purpose.