George Bernard Shaw said “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” A powerful statement and frankly, it simply sums up a challenge we deal with on a daily basis. Spouse to spouse, parent to child, co-worker to co-worker, you to barista and assuming that we all are speaking the same language and in our native tongue, what happens from lip to ear?
Communication is more than the words spoken; it covers the entire context of the situation. From body language to mood to level of attention, the entire capsule of a conversation plays into its effectiveness. Electronic communication, absent the spoken word and many times abbreviated, adds to the complexity and yet at times can bring amazing clarity. How do you know if communication is illusionary or real?
Results speak more loudly than words but waiting for the outcome, potentially the wrong outcome to occur, is not a choice many want to make.
Here are four ideas to increase the level of effectiveness in your communication:
- Know your style
- Know the other party’s style
- Create an atmosphere of trust
- Listen!
In my workshops on communication styles, the clarity comes not just from the knowledge and research shared but from the activities that demonstrate the varied differences in the way we communicate. Knowing that boxes, word characterizations and generalizations do not define a person, I continue to be amazed at the distinct and notable characteristics that are displayed through well-crafted activities. The world does not operate in the same way as an activity in a workshop of course, yet participants are given the opportunity to see how others may perceive or misperceive them and vice versa.
And there we are back to perception. Is your communication real or illusionary? Do you want to wait for the outcome to know which it is?