Last week’s message addressed actively saying “no” and how difficult it can be. At times we also need to say “no” by letting things go.
I am not sure if “letting things go” isn’t the more difficult of the two, and for a couple of reasons. First, we often don’t realize we are carrying around things that were a “yes” a long time ago yet now need to be let go. Second, the emotional ties of what we said yes to often bind us far beyond the usefulness of the yes.
Let me illustrate simply. When is the last time you cleaned out your clothes closet? Six months ago, a year or two or five? Never and you just keep expanding the closet space? The closet is a perfect example as it represents decisions made in the past, our present state and our plans for the future.
Clothes from the past may represent a former business or personal lifestyle, clothes that no longer fit and clothes with sentimental value. They may also represent poor choices we made or great choices we made.
If our business or lifestyle has changed we may be carrying around clothes that we no longer wear. If our weight or body shape has changed, we may be clinging to that former ideal of ourselves yet not be willing to make the change to recreate that reality. We may have made an excellent choice in purchasing an investment piece that we have worn repeatedly over the years or a poor choice that still has the price tags on it.
You see in this very simple example of how a “yes” at some point in time now needs to be a “no” by letting go. Arguments to this are many: “I might return to the corporate world and need the suits”, “I am starting a new exercise program to get back to my pre-baby shape”, “This is a designer piece that still looks good and I paid a lot for it”, “Rainbow bell bottoms are surely coming back in style and look at the bargain I got on these”.
Almost all of these reasonings are based on emotion not reality. The reality is the clothes no longer fit, literally or figuratively. Should they fit in the future when your body shape changes they will likely be out of style. Until then, these ghosts from the past will haunt you every day you open the door and declare you have nothing to wear.
That is quite possibly a true declaration, although it represents momentary frustration. You don’t have appropriate clothes to wear as you are still hanging on to those from the past. Weed out those that no longer “fit” and you will find space and ideas for the things that do fit your life, your business, your present and your future.
If an item is highly sentimental, like a wedding dress, then have it properly cleaned and stored NOT in your daily closet. Take pictures of less meaningful items to preserve those memories and let someone who could truly use and value the article be the beneficiary of your cleaning (donate!). If a great designer piece still has value, consign it and use the proceeds for that next great piece.
Saying no by letting go will clear your closet and your mind. What do you need to let go of?